So after a break up I find that I don't get horny for a few days and even up to a few weeks depending on the severity of the break up, but in this case I happen to know that barely a day after a recent break up, my ex was back to watching porn again. Should I be offended that he was getting horny so soon after I dumped him?
Everyone’s coping mechanisms are different, and some people go sex-crazy after a break up. But more to the point, this is your ex, and how he handles the breakup is his business. Let go.
Sorry guys, this seems like a really loving relationship, between two consenting adults who have similar tastes in erotic practices, with good communication throughout. Since that makes you happy, good. I think
Hahaha awww :)
Re: those Russian spanking vids mentions a few posts ago - they seem so sadistic. Do you suppose the girls are forced into making these films? I can't see anyone enjoying being treated like that. Do you know if they are filmed in Russia?
They are almost certainly filmed in Russia. Nobody is forced into it. Nor do they enjoy it - my impression is that they are only doing it for the money and often seem to be hating every minute of it. That said, many come back.
The videos are very sadistic, but that is honestly not my problem with them. They are often severe - but that’s not really an issue for me either. There are producers that make content of similar severity that I definitely enjoy, and people play at that level all the time. It’s just that their company comes across as lacking respect - for the girls, aesthetics, professionalism, the consumer, and themselves. And that roided out frontman is ridiculous.
An example of weird tricks that they pull in their earlier videos - show a 20-stroke spanking with interleaving cuts from two angles and have the subtitles pretend that they are counting to 40. I guess that is something that non-Russian speakers are less likely to pick up on, but it’s pretty obvious anyway. And it feels terribly cheap to me, and totally spoils the scene.
One aspect that people should probably not worry about is consent. One of the reason for the constant cuts in their earlier videos was that the girls would safeword every stroke (safeword is “Stop” btw). At some point it becomes pretty obvious that they are taking a break after every one. While totally destroying the flow of the scene, it does show that things always stop when the actress wants them to - which is actually a big deal.
I should probably say that their material has been improving a lot in the last few years on every level. The camera work and lighting are better, they brought in some pretty good bondage riggers to add a little variety, and they figured out that if you dial back the intensity a little, you can shoot a much better and more believable scene with someone who isn’t a heavy masochist. The girls also seem a little better prepared and not so off-the-street innocent (though that was part of the appeal for many folk, I’m sure), and they stopped blatantly faking the subtitles.
But years of bad behavior sort of spoiled me on them at this point.
I'm really curious to know why that anon thinks you guys have a shallow relationship. As far as I see you care and love each other very passionately. Why must people be such idiots?
Sometimes, because this is a blog focused on our kinky sex life, people think that kinky sex is all there is to our relationship.
But honestly, in this case I’m really not that curious about the anon’s motivations, nor do I feel the need to justify anything. If they want to think that our relationship is shallow, that’s ok. We’ll find the strength to go on. Somehow.
sorry guys, this seems like a shallow relationship. But if that makes you happy, good. I think.
Thank you for that insightful and in-depth analysis.
Thank goodness you are not Cosmo! :D
I’d like to see what America’s sexual landscape would look like if we were :)
Edited for vanishing caption.
The hanger springs were a bit more mild in this hotel, which opened new possibilities for corner time. The shelf was too high and we had to improvise a little - but I’m happy with how it turned out.
*Love* the head-tilt in the last photo.
Awesome: More hanger shots!
I want submissions like this
Imo, that would be more likely to happen if your tumblr had less misogyny, bestiality, racism, and objectification. I know, kink-shaming, rocks and glass houses, etc. But still dude…
or do this: hey, I have beer and pizza. want to hang out and have fun? boom, date done, hf
okay so kinda random question...but how would you suggest talking to a guy or asking him out. i have been crushing on him all school year (and probably all through next semester too) and want him so badly! what do you think i should say to him? he is always with his friends so i feel awkward approaching. :/
Dear anon - we are not Cosmo. I know next to nothing about asking dudes out. But life is very short, and a year is a long time to spend thinking about one person and not doing anything about it. Most of the time they turn out to not be worth it anyhow, and that’s a year that you could have been dating other guys and having fun.
So just find a moment alone (or hell, get his number from someone), and simply ask him if he wants to have dinner on [insert date]. That’s such a rare occurrence in this day and age that most guys will say yes even if they aren’t sure about it, so you can use this to your advantage and have a whole date to make him see how awesome you are.
And if he says no, move on. Seriously, there are legions of compatible dudes out there. Don’t pine. Much of the time, a long-term unrequited crush is not a love story written in the stars - it is just a safe-zone for ourselves so that we don’t have to put ourselves out there and be vulnerable. But it leaves us sitting still and not moving forward. And I know that you’re not here on this planet to mope and wait to die. Carpe the shit out of that diem.
The most important thing to realize about love and attraction is that it is fickle and follows no law. You can work on making yourself attractive, but nothing will guarantee attraction from a specific person. If you’re happy and healthy, and put yourself out there, you will never be lacking for choices - and that is more important than hoping that someone will change their mind. A ton of people will love you just as you are, and some of them will seem just as wonderful to you.
Dear anon - you’re not sick or crazy. And almost certainly not any sort of split personality (Disassociative Identity Disorder is vanishingly rare in any case). You are just kinky (more specifically, you seem to have a spanking/punishment fetish), and are having a hard time dealing with it. There are thousands of people out there (and lots of them follow our blog) who can probably identify with your thoughts and fantasies.
The thing is, when all of your playtime happens in your head, things can get a little divorced from reality, and can head down some strange roads. If you were to explore these kinks with someone who shares your inclinations, I suspect you’d quickly find yourself a lot more grounded and less worried about your fantasies taking over you life.
Have you ever had problems with a girlfriend's financial independence when breaking up? I'm thinking of starting a 24/7 thing like yours with y dom, but I'm worried about what would happen to me if it ended..
Even though this looks like it, it’s not really a d/s related question. 24/7 relationships are structured in all sorts of ways, and stay-at-home partners are common in the vanilla world.
Moving with someone and becoming dependent on them to pay for rent and other necessities of daily life is a big risk, and puts a lot of added pressure on a relationship. You have to make sure things are solid before you take the plunge. And you have to make plans for what happens if things go south. It really helps to keep a cash reserve as an emergency fund for this purpose. It would be even better if you kept/got a job and paid some of your wages into this rainy fund.
This is also a good time to soberly evaluate your partner’s ethics and patterns of behavior. In a very real sense, this is a person who will be able to kick you out on a whim (things vary between jurisdictions, but people rarely want to involve cops in these things). You have to be able to trust them not to do that, even when things turn tough and if you guys break up. None of us live with our bags packed, and in this situation you don’t have the protections that marriage offers vanilla couples that do this in the “traditional” way.
I don’t want to go into the details of my past relationships - but it can take a long time and a lot of money to settle a situation with a dependent in an honorable fashion. Make sure that you put your trust into the hands of someone who understands this.
Above all, keep your life moving forward. If you’re in school stay in school. If you are working on your career, keep at it. Moving in together can be wonderful, but 24/7 or not, you need a plan for your life that makes sense in the long-term. Moving in should be something that helps you facilitate it, not hold you back.
Yes, but do you speak pig Latin! Hmm? Hmmmm???
Utbay oftsay hatway ightlay hroughtay onderyay indoway reaksbay.
Uckfay, tsiay hetay opscay.
do you speak russian?
As a submissive, I enjoy all the things my Master does to me. That being said, I do have leukemia and have recently started chemotherapy again. My Master has gone easy on me because of it but I want him to be rougher; how can I communicate that?
I can definitely understand why your Master is treating you with kid gloves. And it’s perfectly ok to tell him that you miss the roughness, he just needs a reminder of what makes you happy. Just make sure to put safety first, and consider if there is any danger of anything impacting your treatment. It might be a good idea to ask the physician who is supervising you about this stuff, even though it might be uncomfortable (maybe ask about contact sports instead?).
You’re going to kick this thing’s ass, Bee, I know it.